Strivings of a Pianist

I just found this poem in an old google document I had...


New, New, New
Life brings
Something New

Life turns
Away from the old
And into something
Fresh

Change,
Must happen
Inside
Outside
Everywhere

I cannot move
Without changing
I cannot live
The same way
anymore
Everything
Must change.

I cannot let go
totally yet
But I am yearning to
Living to
I'd die to
Change into something
Better

I must become
Different
I must become
Stronger
Calmer
Wiser

I musn't be
Afraid
Anymore
I must know
That all will be
Alright

I must know
All so well
That nothing
Can fail
I must know
that
All is well.

I must pray
For God to help me
Find a way
To understand my music
So completely
So entirely
Inside out
and Upside down
I must not give up
I must not give in
To discouragement

I must continue growing
Continue learning
Continue knowing
And finding out the truth
Of everything
In everything
And about everything.

I must find out
the truth in sound
The information contained therein
I must find out the truth
About technique
The motions that will make me
finished
The restraint
That will make me
Free

I must not give in
I must continue
I must continue growing
Until I find I know
All that I need
to Play
And not be
Afraid

I cannot be afraid anymore
I cannot be
I must live
and not be afraid
of dying
I must work
And not be afraid of trying
and Failing

I must not fail
But I must continue
Until I succeed
I do not care how long
I cannot give up
I cannot give in
I must live
I must achieve this

I must play piano.
I am a pianist. 

January 5 2008