Speak a little softer, please
Your words tread on my heart.

Step a bit more carefully,
Your path my life doth part.

Ode to Frustration (or keys locked in the car...)

Tick....tock

Tick....tock

I watch the clock

I'm stuck

It seems I'm

Often stuck.

Stuck at school

or home

in time

or in my mind,

Or out of it.

You know,

Anyone can lose it

If they lose the will to find it,

Again, and again,

And again.

Patience child,

your time will come.

Just watch the clock,

It's almost there.

Tick...tock

Tick...tock  

Tick... 

The beauty that I see in thee

The beauty that I see in thee
Doth make my soul rejoice
And the freedom thou mak'st me to feel
Giveth my heart a voice.

The Spider

The day before yesterday I watched a barn spider in my window catch a fly, wrap him up, and crawl away into the window eave somewhere to hide him.  It was rather gruesome and creepy, but it reminded me of a poem that I wrote when I was twelve years old, to send to a school newspaper, hoping that it would be published.  It wasn't chosen to be published, and I lost the poem since then.  However, I still remember the first stanza that I wrote, and the last two lines, but not the middle section.   But watching this big barn spider catch the fly the other day inspired me to fill in the missing sections of my poem again.  I'm still not completely satisfied with it... but it's basically all there:


The Spider


Observe the careful pains she takes
And whist, how patiently she waits

For an unsuspecting passer-by

Into her tangled web to fly

And agitate the flimsy threads

O'er which the careful spider treads.

Now see him fly without a care,

And dive, blissfully unaware

Of death, cold-reaching through the air,

On cords invisible and fair -

The trap she's laid with utmost care,

To catch poor souls who happen there. 

With one fell swoop, the fellow's caught -

His joyous flight in mid-air stopped,

A care-free life turned anguish-fraught

But moments more, and t'will be naught. 

He beats his wings with frenzied hum,

And struggling, beckons her to come.

She runs - and grabs him, stabs him through, 

Then wraps him 'round with thread and glue,

And carries him away to hide

Somewhere in shadows to the side--

Then, when she gets the urge to munch,

She'll be obliged to make him lunch. 

Moving Forward

When the air has written us a tune

That we can breathe in,

That we can deeply dive into

It will be fine for us to run and not look back.

When the sun has come around to

Shine a day that grey can seethe in

That we can sweetly lie into

It will be fine for us to jump and not hold back.

When the race is finally run and

Finish lines have broken time that

I can sing to

That I can freely beat my wings to 

It will be time for me win and not make up for

Anything I lack.

I can't go back

To other roads that I have passed through,

To the easy paths that always lead straight into

Variations of the devil's favorite trap...

I can't look back

To all the things that

I had run to

To the future that I thought this life

would come to

To the dreams I thought were

everything I had...

No, I can't turn back -

And the fear of any wood that I can't see through

Will never lead me anywhere,

But back.

October 16, 2011

Silver threads

                                                                                               Photo Corey Amaro
Goodnight,
Sweet blue eyes
Deep blue skies
Tonight I have you
Safely sewn
with
Silver thread
And woven
Through my life.
You are so kind
With such a mind -
With silver thoughts like
Prism droplets
Misting through this air that is
So thick
like wine,
and
Pervading every inlet of my life,
Somehow enlightening,
And frightening at the same time.
But then you
Take this hand,
and I am fine.

Dance!

I know you like a little storybook romance
I know you like to find the perfect place,
The perfect line.
I know you like your words to be well-timed,
Just like your jokes,
All laced with rhymes.

Silver thread
Is running
Through this air
So fine and fair and blowing
In this breeze
- but spun from where?
From every breath we breathe and
From the tossing of the sea
The connective tissue of our very cares....
A silver thread is running
From your eyes to mine
A silver thread is drifting
And I grab the line and pull this in --
A silver fish,
A silver wish,
A golden time -
A silver word of yours
Caught in the air,
Still ringing like a chime
I catch it on a silver line
And hold it
'Til vibration disappears.

Listen

Listen to me
I want to be totally honest
I want to speak my mind
I want to find
The truth in everything
I want to find
the truth.

What is love?
Sometimes I hate it
I hate this pain
And sometimes I wonder
What is the point of having anything
If in the end we only
Lose it all again.

The darkest hour

The Darkest Hour
Comes before the dawn
So they say,
So they say.
But how long before?
Not really 'just'
Because truly
When it is darkest
The light is furthest from me
When it is darkest
It will take the longest
To return to me.
This is how I feel,
This is how I feel.
When everything is dark
Then nothing seems real
When no light shines
I cannot feel the warmth
Of the bright side of the world.

Oh, Light-
You haven't left forever
Just for one night
But one night can seem so long
In this sort of weather.

If in the darkest hours
We weep
Then it will safe our secrets keep
And when the light shines down again
We will know then
Relief.
For what would be the day
Without the night
Or victory
Without the fight
Or peace
Without our inner struggles?

When the night has grown so deep
We cannot see to move,
Or even creep
We might need just
Be still a little while
For even in the darkest night
Can shine a dream
Of brighter things
And this may light our minds
For just a time
Until from blackest hours
Shines the dawn...

The golden sun shall come
To light our path -
Perhaps one before unseen, unknown
And we shall walk, face to the sun,
Hand in hand,
And no longer be alone,
Yes, we shall see clearly then
The dews from darkness sprung,
The very good
the night hath done. 

Midnight musing

In the middle of the night
I sit and eat
A strawberry
And think
No thoughts of import
But delight in
Silence
For a moment.

Until I hear
A mouse begin to cry
From in the wall
He's hungry -
Just as I
But I
Covered his hole
Two days ago
So that he can't come in.

Tonight I'm feeling lonely and
I'm almost swayed to
Open it again
And let him in a while
Or donate a pile of almonds to
His din -
But I know
That if I did
He'd only come when I can't see
And should I try to find him,
He'd only run from me.
But isn't it funny?
What one wouldn't do
For a little company.   

I bear my soul through music
And never know
Who has known me.

I need you now,
Just like I always have.
But I've never had you -
I've lived without you.
I'm still alive, but I
still need you.
How can I
Live without you
When I need you?
But I am -
But I
Am not complete
I am not...
Myself
We are not "we"
And I am not "me"
Without
Thee.

Look for me

Look for me,
When you feel alone
Look for me.
I am here,
I am singing to you,
Always.

Look for me;
I know
You looked away
For a while
But I have been here all along
Look for me
One more time
I am still singing
your song.

Look for me,
I am here
And I am happy.
Look for me,
I am here and I am free.
Look for me,
If you want I'll take you with me...
I am here,
Just as before,
To you I sing.

I wait for you here,
Look for me, Look for me,
Of you I sing.

Look for me,
If you're thinking
You are ready;
Look for me
When you find me in your dreams,
Look for me,
And you know you'll find me
Singing,
Just as before -
I wait for you
to come and sing with me.

Tell me,
Do you believe
That Time
Can heal all wounds?

Wounds
That can't be mended
By apology
Pain that can't be calmed
By renewed promises...

.........

We can't be reconciled
In one moment;
We cannot suture hearts
Without them weeping.

..........

I will not be resigned
To sad prognosis
Until I've given
All I have to give...
I won't accept
A fatal diagnosis
Long as this ray of hope
Within me lives.